So it’s uh, been a while now, since I’ve made something B2STly, so I’mma give my best shot at this. Meanwhile, please excuse my awful crap photoshop skills.
1. Wake up in the morning feeling like 4-D..
Fear not, B2UTIES and B2STIES!! You’ll never wake up late a single day in your life again! Now why is this so?
Introducing, the latest Cubix Invention, the Jjang Alarm Clock!
Translating to literally, Best Alarm Clock, this pretty clock boasts loud sound and a pretty face to look at every morning. But beware! On some mornings you might have to be the one to wake up the alarm clock instead!
On a side note, don’t keep any chicken or orange juice in the house, because it might go mysteriously missing somewhere….
Grab yours, now! Only ₩10 000, batteries not included. For more info on this product, do visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDToaBqp_48
2. YangYo Nom
Feeling hungry after that fruitful wake up? Well, not to worry anymore, B2UTIES and B2STIES! Cubix’s next new invention, the YangYo brand Corn Soup, will be bound to fill your stomachs in no time! Filled with aegyo goodness, the YangYo corn soup will have strengthen your vocal chords and have you feeling happy in no time!
Before going to any vocal audition or practice, the consumer should take in at least half a serving, which will ensure full control of the voice and allow the consumer to sing high and long notes with ease, such as ‘I DA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.’
However, it is advised not to take in more than 2 servings per day, as you might see people chasing after you, members of the opposite sex falling for you, and fangirls and boys screaming and demanding for you to do more aegyo. Yes, a side effect of this soup is that you will perform aegyo and give off a sense of appeal unconsciously.
Retails for about ₩1500! Special promotion: Buy two boxes and a YangYo plush doll for free!
3. Eyecandy For School
Tired of having to bring your heavy books all the way from home to school and back again each day? Cubix to the rescue! This time, Cubix has come up with a special bagpack for all you B2UTIES and B2STIES out there - not only does it help to ease the weight of the books you carry by 50%, it also makes great eyecandy for your friends to be jealous of!
Presenting the KwangBag5000! The KwangBag5000 has built-in firm and strong muscles that helps you to ease the weight of the books on your shoulders. Say goodbye to those days of backaches!
Tempting as it might seem, please DO NOT try to lick the inside of the bag. The inside of the bag is where the muscles of the bag is stored, and even though the abs of the bag smell like chocolate, it is highly advised not to lick any part of the bag as this may cause a temporary weakness in the muscles.
It is essential that one does not use the bag everyday, as the KwangBag5000’s muscles are mainly for eyecandy and not for use. (See Idol Maid).
One KwangBag5000 is priced at ₩30 000. Sold in major bookstores and fashion apparel stores.
4. Godly Spiciness
After the long day, are you hungry? Feel like having something exotic, and possibly…spicy? And there we have it!
Another food product by Cubix called the Spicy Namshin curry, it serves to bring you the spiciest and hottest instant curry you can ever find. There are however, many steps to eating this curry.
Step 1: Think of a sad situation(E.G. ex-girlfriend/boyfriend) while cooking curry
Step 2: If no tears appear, use eyedrops. Do not worry if the eyedrops fall into the curry, the food will taste just as great and you are what you eat anyway.
Step 3: Do a dance. Not a salsa or a ballroom dance, just close your eyes and shake your body in a swift manner
Step 4: Hire the best photographers and studios…NOW! Put on random backdrops of India and pose in front of the camera.
Step 5: After the photos have been safely developed, it is safe to return home and eat your curry peacefully.
One box retails for about ₩1900, best eaten before 54th June, 20783.
5. The Coker
Wasn’t that curry really spicy? Feeling the heat now? That’s no problem at all, B2UTIES and B2STIES! Now we present to you the newest beverage product, the Coker!
This beverage is twice as refreshing as the original, and definitely very satisfying. It boasts the ultimate coolness that can quench your thirst in no time at all. However, beware, B2UTIES and B2STIES. Do not consume too much of this drink. An excessive consumption of this beverage may lead to side effects such as rapping in your sleep and nagging at everyone to clean up even when there’s no mess at all. Another side effect includes a special type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which may lead you to arrange toothbrushes in rainbow-like order. And if there’s only one toothbrush? You will feel compelled to break that toothbrush and buy back 6 toothbrushes of different colors to rearrange.
One can is sold for about ₩2000. Grab yours and enjoy the drink now!
6. Papa Angel
After a long, tiring day and a feast of a dinner, finally, it’s time to go to bed. Do you B2UTIES and B2STIES suffer from insomnia? Are you scared of the dark? Do you fear the Boogeyman?
Don’t worry! The latest Papa Angel Bed serves as a comfortable and a watchful protector: All in one! Rest assured that you’ll sleep peacefully while the bed’s headboard’s godly face scares all evil monsters away from you. Perfect for children and fangirls! For fanboys, Cubix is working on a Seung Bed for you as well.
However, it is advised that only heavy sleepers purchase this bed. There might be sudden interruptions in your sleep due to Papa Angel’s constant imitations. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK.
The price of the Papa Angel bed is about ₩200 000. Grab yours now, and never fear the evil monsters of the dark again!
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Cr: I wish to own these people.
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